What do women really want?


Understanding what turns a woman on has plagued the greatest minds for centuries. It puzzled father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud himself. So, we decided to do what he probably didn’t: we asked women what they really wanted in the different areas of their lives. And this is what they said.


Women have made great strides in the workplace, but if you look at the pay scales across corporate South Africa, it becomes clear that much still needs to be done. Women don’t just want a seat at the table, they would like an equal share in leadership as well.

Often condemned as being over-emotional, I loved that a few women stated that they just wanted to be happy at work, to break barriers and improve the lives of their peers and daughters. I get emotional just thinking about that!

There are just a handful of women CEOs in South Africa at the moment and one woman said that girls needed to see more successful females in business so the next generation has something to aspire to. She really wanted to impact teenage girls.


A few ladies really wanted to make a difference, leave things and people in a better state than they were in previously. They saw their purpose as planting a seed of thought that could contribute to a change in thinking and ultimately behaviour. As Oprah would say: “When you know better, you do better.”

Another woman said: “I want to be the best version of myself every day, or at least die knowing I tried.”

One bad-ass mom wanted to find the balance between discipline and freedom that would allow her children to flourish and be the best version of who they were meant to be.


When it came to relationships, a common theme was that women wanted to be heard and protected. But most of all women want to be loved.

Another said women want love and respect.  They are strong and capable, but they also want empathy. So, listen up and take notes.


I will let you in on a secret: if your woman tells you she loves chocolate more than sex with you, you’re doing something wrong. I don’t have a single friend who will turn down a toe-curling orgasm to suck on a sugary treat. So, either your technique needs work, or your delivery does.

Most people don’t realise that good sex starts outside the bedroom. And I am not talking about the lounge floor or the shower: I am talking about being considerate – women said little things like washing the car, putting a love note into her lunchbox, telling her how beautiful she is, telling her what you love about her or just giving her time to herself will score you huge brownie points. Do those things and you will need that brownie for energy!

A common complaint during this survey was that women themselves don’t know what they want. And that they change their minds often. This is true too, I’ll admit, but therein lies the fun. If you know what to expect every day of the week, you will tend to have a, well, vanilla, week. And why should you settle for vanilla when you can have every colour in the rainbow? And a little bit of chocolate thrown in for decadence?

Finally, to the person who said the one thing women really want was to be right all the time and never wrong, I say shame on you for thinking women are ever wrong. Please refer to the chocolate comment above to rectify your thinking.